As I got older, I noticed that my body didn’t move as quickly as it had before. I walked more slowly, waited longer in the morning for things to start, and sometimes had to exert more effort than I used to have to do. This change initially made me mad. I felt like my body was weak. My body was saying to me that I should stop, while life was going on. But as I grew, I realized that deceleration wasn’t the end of the meaning, direction or value of my life.
Jokes By Grandma
Life went on with all its duties, feelings, choices and sudden changes. Family was still in need of love and guidance. There were relationships that needed to be looked at. The world still turned, the seasons still came and went, and each day’s needs were met. My body has turned into a slow one, but my heart is still going. My mind was preoccupied, my emotions were strong, and my passion for life did not fade away. Learning these lessons wasn’t simple but it did make me more compassionate with myself.
As I got older, I discovered that strength takes on different forms. Youthful strength was often found in energy, speed and endurance. Later in the years, patience and wisdom added strength, and being able to not rush. I learned to value myself and my boundaries without making them the rule of my life. It was a need for rest but not for surrender. Careful became the art of self-respect, not weakness. This was an imbalance that needed to be corrected. I needed to know when to go on and when to go off.
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At times I felt left out in the world that appeared to extol youth and perpetual busyness. Sometimes I’d ask myself if people could still see the individual in the old body. As I grew older I gained insight into who I was. No longer had to justify myself on my busyness. My value lay in learning, in sharing, in caring. The most challenging part of growing old is learning to not have my mind in sync with my body. My mind wanted to go on and on and on, and my body wanted to sleep.
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I know that a slower body still carries a full life now, today. I’ve slowed down with age, but not lost my purpose. In some ways I’m moving a little different, but I’m still moving forward. Life is still difficult, still beautiful, still unfinished, and I’m part of it and I’m willing to keep on going. Every day I’m reminded that dignity has nothing to do with speed; that the fulfillment can still be quiet, through acceptance, gratitude, connection and the brave act of being fully present.
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